We all like to be right. Fact. It’s just another thing I’m right about. However, I’m acutely aware that there are times when it would be massively inappropriate, and likely very unhelpful, to point it out. I take the satisfaction smugly inwards and ‘let it go’ knowing that truth will out eventually. And hey, I have been known to be proven wrong (once or twice, back in 1993).
Some of us are better at the letting go part than others, but fundamentally, when we’re rolling with the punches of the social world we just get that pointing out we are right is not always the best course of action. Boo doesn’t get this. Na da, no way, has-to-make-a-point-of-it, won’t ever swallow the words, be magnanimous or gracious, no, if he’s right the world is sure to know about it.
This poses quite a problem. You see, inhabiting Boo’s sphere are two little 6 year olds. Totally, utterly, fib-worthy, haven’t see a lot of the world, 6 year olds. Who don’t, for obvious reasons, always get things right. In fact, dare I say it, often don’t. They are frequently known to bend the truth a little, or see things through the rainbow lens of fantasy, or simply just to not understand things in quite the same way as others. Or, let’s face it, because the world isn’t black and white but has massive great chunks of splinters-in-my-arse-on-a-fence, GREY.
But Boo doesn’t do shades of grey. Things are right. Or things are wrong. And there’s not an inch of middle ground. Result: hotbed for an older brother pointing out EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING his sisters don’t get 100% right. It’s like growing up alongside the world’s least-censored pedant. It’s a little exasperating. A million little bickers could be avoided every single day if Boo could just learn to bite his tongue.
But try as we might, we simply can’t seem to get Boo to understand this one: to know in his head he’s right, but not to always point it out. It’s like it’s impossible for him. Perhaps it is. Perhaps he has to work so hard to understand the ‘rules’ of life that if someone flouts the extra ones he puts in to get things to make some sense out of the shades of grey, then god help them. They are doomed to having it absolutely spelt out, with no shadow of doubt, exactly why they are wrong.
So come on, words of wisdom please… how do you get someone with Autism to sometimes bite their tongue, and not always be Mr Right?